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The Wixii™ Project: Barb Wade

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barb WadeName: Barb Wade

Location:  Colorado

Company:  Bright Idea, LLC

Professional Industry:  Business coaching

Job Title:  Owner

WIXII-ISM™ FROM BARB WADE: [I]t’s not so much what happens, but what I TELL myself about what happens —  my self-talk – that leads to how I feel. …What I ask myself is, what is the most supportive and abundant interpretation of this situation, whatever it is?  What is the most empowered way to look at it?  What new opportunity does it present?

BARB’S STORY:

Meet our featured Wixii™, Barb Wade.  She is 47 and mother to 2 daughters, ages 8 and 11.  After years in the entertainment industry, Barb decided to follow her heart, got a Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology, and became a Master Certified Coach.  Barb’s passion is to teach soul-centered entrepreneurs (typically in service-oriented professions) how to make more money, more easily, while enjoying a business and lifestyle that reflects their values.  Barb offers various online and offline courses, group programs, live events, and private business coaching specializing in how to consistently attract and enroll your ideal, high-paying clients.  Oh, and she’ll throw in a load of laundry or two.  😉

One interesting fact is that before her executive career in Hollywood, Barb was a successful actress who starred in the NBC prime time series, “Nurses,” and who was a recurring character on “Saved By The Bell.”

BARB’S CAREER PATH:

My dream as a child and young adult was to pursue acting – my passion – and I was lucky enough to move to L.A. after college and land several roles on several successful shows.  But after playing countless ditzes and mean girls, I decided I could better use my brain “behind” the camera, and became a studio executive for Paramount, Disney, and then DreamWorks.

While I continued moving up the ladder in that line of work, I became overworked and depleted.  Finally, after a decade in the industry, I decided to make a significant break and go back to school.  I deeply wanted to be a part of the personal growth movement.  So, I got a Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology, and became a Master Certified Coach.

This was a perfect career during which to start our family, and I had two beautiful daughters supported by a career of significant freedom and flexibility.

Then, the economic crash of 2009 hit, and my husband’s business vanished overnight.  We immediately lost his substantial income.  It was going to be up to me to “uplevel” my business, and FAST!  (While my coaching practice was full, it wasn’t enough to support our needs by itself).

Here’s where the miracle came in.  Coincidentally, around this time, other coaches that I knew – and some therapists, health practitioners, and even a website designer – came to me and said “you’re always attracting and enrolling new clients – your business has a waiting list – but I don’t know how to do the same for myself.  Will you coach me on how to build my clientele and income?

Thus, I  began my career as a Business Coach and Mentor.  Since that time, I’ve had years of training in the tools required to build a thriving, FULL, and successful 6-figure business (and beyond!) based upon your authentic passion and expertise.  I offer online and offline classes, group programs, live events, and private coaching services, and I enjoy clients all around the world.

BARB’S MINDSET AND WORK-LIFE MIX:

The mindset I try to come from every day is one of mindfully choosing how to interpret the days events.  Let me explain what I mean by that.  I’ve become very aware that the WAY I look at my life and the events within it defines my quality of life – my level of joy, balance, relaxation, gratitude etc.  In other words, it’s not so much what happens, but what I TELL myself about what happens —  my self-talk – that leads to how I feel.  For example, if I were to do a consultation and that particular client decided my program wasn’t the right “fit” right now, I could either go into worry, like “oh no, they didn’t like me, and we really needed the income, etc. etc.” or I could trust that “this wasn’t the right person for me, rejection is “God’s protection,’ and I trust the perfect client is right around the corner.”

What I ask myself is, what is the most supportive and abundant interpretation of this situation, whatever it is?  What is the most empowered way to look at it?  What new opportunity does it present?

As for my work-life mix, it’s never the same twice!  LOL!  Being a mom is my very first priority.  So I spend morning time with my kids, I volunteer in their elementary school classrooms every week, and I finish my work promptly at 5pm so the rest of the afternoon and evening is family time.  At the same time, I do have some help that I relish, because my career is so demanding.  We have a “household helper” who picks up the kids at school, keeps them busy and starts their homework, and who does our grocery shopping and simple errands.  At first I used to think I should “do it all,” but I ended up realizing that her help allows me the QUALITY time with my kiddos and husband that is most important.

Self:  how do you strengthen your own identity and not lose yourself in the mix?

It can be very trying not to “lose” myself in taking care of everyone else.  As a coach, in addition to being a wife and mother, my role is to take care of EVERYONE in my life – help them, support them, meet their needs, hold them “up.”  This can make for one very tired ME if I don’t watch it!

So what I do is carve out mandatory self-time.  I work with a Spiritual Counselor that I speak with every week to decompress and discuss my life, my goals, and my feelings.  I get up ½ hour before the family to do either some quiet walking and reflection, or to do some free-form journal writing.  I try to have the house stocked with good, nourishing foods so that on my  busiest days I’m not tempted to grab crap!  And I ask my husband to let me know when he notices that I’m getting stressed out, or depleted, or irritable – that’s a key sign that I need some self-care time, and I might miss it!  Thankfully, I’ve learned to appreciate his “tipping me off” so that I can grab some refueling time… some of my other favorites are taking a hot tub or reaching out to a girlfriend and finding out about THEIR day (getting out of my own head!).

How does your current mindset/attitude empower and/or frustrate your ability to thrive in your work-life mix?  How has your mindset/attitude toward life changed over time?

Well, as I shared above, I really do try to choose how I look at the circumstances in my life.  I try – at least as best as I can – to recognize that what I TELL myself about things has the absolute greatest influence on how I feel in any given moment.  S__t happens to all of us – that’s that.  But I need to catch myself when I’m in a bad mood, or feeling overwhelmed, or feeling put upon, exhausted, resentful, etc.

(Yes, I fall into all of these feelings much like any other normal Woman in the Mix(Wixii)!).

Sometimes I’ll even allow myself to “wallow” in the negative feelings for a finite amount of time.  Like “OK, you get to be overwhelmed, mad, resentful, etc. for the next half hour, but then we’re pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, reframing the situation from a more abundant and empowered place, and taking action from there.”  (I’ve honestly found that by allowing myself the “wallow” time, I’m often more ready to switch gears and let go of my victim stance).

I’d say that this is the one tool I want to share to help other high-achieving women stay SANE as much of the time as possible!  😉

Please share specific tips for effectively managing your time and schedule.

Here are a few:

1.  Work time is work time, family time is family time:  Yes, there are more in my life than just these two classifications of time.  But these are the substantial ones, and it can be very easy to let them overlap.  So have firm boundaries about which “time” I’m in – and I remind myself NOT to be thinking about the kids when I’m at work, and NOT to be thinking about work when I’m with the kids.  It takes practice, but it works very well for me.

2.  Delegate what you can – it’s NOT a shortcoming on your part:  Yes, we all wish we could be “all things to all people.”  But we can’t!  What’s critical is to have the time and energy for the things that are most important to you.  So I advocate delegating the smaller things that will free up the more important time, energy, and focus.  This can mean asking your husband to do certain things that you both take for granted are your responsibility.  It can mean hiring a “mother’s helper” to straighten up, help kids start their homework, and do the grocery shopping.  It can mean a personal assistant for 2 hours a week to manage mail, paperwork, pay bills, do errands, etc.  These things are not as expensive as they may seem, and they’re exponentially worth the spaciousness and peace of mind they create in my life.  (And I’m worth getting the help, damn it!).

3.  Check in with yourself – and meet your needs:  As a woman in the mix, it’s very typical for our own self care to fall to the bottom of the priority list.  But if we’re not “well” in body, mind, AND spirit, we can’t do much for the others around us.  If you check in and notice you’re depleted… or you’re hungry… or you’re tired… or you’re lonely… you MUST fill that hole and make sure your needs are met.  Stop whatever else is distracting you and take care of business – YOU!  You’ll be much more productive and efficient in your life if you stop running to get “one more thing done” and take care of your own nourishment needs.

**Have a business you are trying to get off the ground or take to the next step, check out Barb’s “Special Invitation” for Women In The Mix Members

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