Name: Mary Culver Carlile
Location: OK
Professional Industry: Medicine
Company: Tahlequah City Hospital
Job Title: Medical Director, Acute Inpatient Rehabilitation
WIXII-ISM™ FROM MARY:
“I am most content with my decision to simplify my work so that I can have more time to devote to my husband and our life together. I fear that our time together will not be long, so I cherish every simple thing we do including sitting in the porch swing with a cup of coffee. I have no regrets, but am thankful that we’ve had this special time to intertwine our lives more completely. I do believe that I am able to appreciate it more since for so long we both sacrificed our personal time for our careers. I thought that my identity might be so tied to my total dedication to my role as a physician that I might feel worthless or unimportant when I left. I don’t at all. I’m proud of what I did, but I was definitely ready to slow down and pass the torch.”
PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL INFORMATION:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Mary Culver Carlile, M.D.. Mary is in her early 60s and married to a retired Abbott Labs IT manager and rancher, Bill. She received her undergraduate degree from Baylor University (B.S. Biology Major, Chemistry Minor) and her medical degree from the University of Oklahoma College of Medicine.
Mary’s story is one of courage and determination. At 34 years of age, she decided to leave her job as a medical supply sales representative to begin medical school. She quickly excelled in the area of Traumatic Brain Injuries (TBI) and Rehabilitation. She has won countless awards including “Best Doctors in Dallas” for 9 consecutive years, “Texas Super Doctor” and “Best Doctors in America” five times in her field. Starting in 1993, she was named a Diplomate by the American Board of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation. In 2010, she received the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Brain Association of Texas. Mary has advocated at all levels of government for better care for TBI patients, stricter helmet laws to prevent brain injuries and minimal insurance coverage for motorcycle riders. Upon retiring in 2010, the Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation named the third floor of their hospital the “Mary C. Carlile, MD Brain Injury Unit.” Prior to leaving Dallas, Mary would work 7:00 am – 9:00 pm daily for 11 days at a time. Today, Mary is semi-retired and currently works three days a week as the Medical Director of the acute inpatient rehabilitation unit at Tahlequah City Hospital.
Mary and Bill equally share homemaking and breadwinning duties. She devotes about 35 hours per week to her career and would rate her job satisfaction level as 8 and work-life satisfaction level as 10 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest). In a typical week, she spends about 7 hours cooking, 5 hours cleaning, 4 hours each on caregiving and laundry, and 3 hours shopping. Mary and Bill do not have children, but are surrounded by family, friends and their lovable dogs, “Annie” and “Teener.”
WORK-LIFE MIX:
Describe any choices you have made in arriving at your current work-life mix.
I was Medical Director of Traumatic Brain Injury Services at Baylor Institute for Rehabilitation in Dallas, Texas for 15 years. There I was involved in research, advocacy work, political action for survivors of TBI, and in running camps for brain injury survivors as well as providing medical and rehabilitation services for catastrophically injured challenging patients and their families in one of the sixteen “Model Systems” for TBI rehabilitation. I loved my work there and received high recognition from patients, families, my peers, and the state of Texas. When my husband reached the point of retirement from an age and health standpoint, I made the choice to go with him back to the small community we had both grown up in to live a simpler life. My primary sacrifice/concession was to leave a high-recognition and challenge position to go to a small community hospital without the extensive support and challenge of “big city medicine.” Prior to this change, I worked virtually constantly — 11 days straight without time off twice monthly. I worked 7:00am to 9:00pm daily
Describe your career path to this point and any envisioned future changes.
As above, I made a major change from a large metropolitan practice in a “Center of Excellence” to a rural environment in a small community hospital where I serve a rural aging population who often lack socio-economic advantages and support. I also have the challenge of limited specialty support in the small community setting. I plan to continue my current work schedule until age 65 or 66 when I am eligible for Medicare and Social Security. I felt that continuing to work part time in this new community would allow me to reconnect to friends from my early life here and to establish relationships with new friends. I thought it would allow me to actually become part of the community by contributing my expertise to its growth and well-being.
My current work-life mix is possible (manageable) because of…
I am at a slower-paced stage in life than I have been in many years. I actually have time to spend with my husband now. We are busier on the days I don’t work because our lives are full of friends, family, and activities we weren’t able to enjoy earlier due to our demanding careers. My husband is in tenuous health and has many limitations, but he does things with modifications. He does the grocery shopping—with or without my presence. We “team cook” and eat at home more often than ever before just because we enjoy it. I hire a housekeeper every two weeks to do heavy cleaning. I do laundry. My husband loads the dishwasher. I unload it and clean counters. We hire help to keep our small ranch (25 head of cattle) operational. We do what we can—use our Polaris Ranger to go all over our 230 acres. We bale hay with the help of neighbors who get a share of the hay. A neighbor’s teenage son is our “ranch hand” who does everything from helping us plant our garden to washing out the garage. We are happy and have an extensive network of friends who can help us identify any kind of help we need. I am able to do my patient documentation for work from home thanks to electronic medical records. I dictate notes from home and am able to connect to the hospital’s lab and radiology services through my home computer.
Describe a current “day in your life” from waketime to bedtime:
Monday through Wednesday are work days. I arise at 6 am, eat breakfast with my husband and arrive at work by 8am. I round on patients, direct the medical care of these hospitalized patients and direct their rehabilitation and post rehabilitation programs. I often work late, but can do documentation from home, so I drive to our country home about 6pm where I have dinner with my husband and then work until about 9pm. On my four days off, I sleep until 8am; have a leisurely breakfast with my husband, and then we do everything together. No two days are the same. We usually have a project – such as planting the vegetable garden or flowers, or feeding the cattle, or fixing a fence. We have a lot of activities in the community but try to keep our life much simpler than in the past. We travel to “the city” of Tulsa to shop or for specialist appointments approximately every 3 weeks and that requires an entire day. We visit Sam’s Club and do any shopping that needs to be done in the city. We often eat out at local restaurants in our community where we meet friends. We visit my mother-in-law at least four days a week in the nursing home where she resides. We often read to her which is a real joy. On my days off, we spend a lot of time in our front porch swing.
On a daily basis…:
On a daily basis, I am energized and feel a sense of accomplishment because I still feel that I am making a contribution with my part-time work. I have been embraced by the medical staff and administration in my small hospital who recognize me as a “native” who loves this community. They also recognize what I’ve accomplished in my previous career, and acknowledge my expertise. I am most content with my decision to simplify my work so that I can have more time to devote to my husband and our life together. I fear that our time together will not be long, so I cherish every simple thing we do including sitting in the porch swing with a cup of coffee. I have no regrets, but am thankful that we’ve had this special time to intertwine our lives more completely. I do believe that I am able to appreciate it more since for so long we both sacrificed our personal time for our careers.
WIXII™ WISDOM:
Share your key(s) to maintaining order (“managing it all”) and any tools you highly recommend:
My key to maintaining order is organization. I am a list keeper for everything from schedules, calendars, to exactly what I’m going to serve for upcoming meals – especially if company is involved. On Thursday, my list of things to accomplish (including fun things we want to do) is written for the next four days. I love checking them off as they get done! The iPhone is indispensable in my opinion (and I am not very tech savvy!). Always having it with you is the key. I use Notes and Reminders on the phone as well as apps for my work including screening and approving patients for admission. I use Epocrates app for Medication review of interactions, and again it’s always with me so that I can make decisions in a split second.
What advice would you give an earlier version of yourself?
I really have no regrets. I have been fortunate in opportunities that were presented to me, and I’ve had a successful and rewarding career. I might have made this scaling back in my work schedule a little sooner if I had realized how good it would be. I think that fear of inadequate financial support for our later years kept me plugging away a little too long. I do wish that we had focused more on travel when we were younger and could handle the physical rigor of it better.
Is there anything else you would like to share regarding your work-life mix?
We never had children, so I have no expertise when it comes to the mix required for parenting. I watch with pride; however, as I observe my niece doing it right. She clearly LOVES being a mother and currently that supersedes all other factors as she makes decisions in work and in raising her precious baby boy. It is a constant challenge, but because she is staying active in her work I know she will be able to escalate if needed, but will never regret the very special time she has chosen to guide the development of her little one. I so respect the concept of work-life mix and the women of all ages who juggle the required time and skills for each.
