Name: Virginia Spivey
Location: D.C.
Professional Industry: Art History
Job Title: Art Historian
WIXII-ISM™ FROM VIRGINIA SPIVEY:
“I like the concept of a mix because balance isn’t possible–it’s like setting yourself up to fail. For me, I’m just beginning to recognize that I have to continue to shift my attention constantly to the different responsibilities and concerns in my life–at any given moment. Sometimes that means renegotiating my own expectations or previous ways of doing things; other times, it’s about just being okay with the fact that I’m giving more time and energy right now to kids, work, husband, self, or whatever…..and that I’ll need to figure out a way to compensate the other element appropriately.”
“Control and flexibility are keys to life as a free agent. Generally, I’ve most enjoyed the freedom to pursue multiple interests simultaneously. I’m developing a broader range of skills than if I was in a single full time position.”
VIRGINIA’S STORY:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Virginia Spivey. She is 45 years old and mother to twin five-year-old boy and girl. She received her B.A., M.A. and Ph.D. in Art History. She currently is an independent art historian and educator in Higher Education and Museums. Her husband is also in the field of education as a science teacher.
VIRGINIA’S CAREER PATH:
It’s been strategically schizophrenic: I’ve worked as an art historian in both museum education and academic settings for the past 17 years. After finishing my Ph.D., I took a wonderful tenure track academic job that I’d have stayed at forever, but there were no opportunities for my husband (also an academic) in the same town. Over the course of the next few years, we had a commuter marriage. We moved about 6 times over 10 years (living together, maintaining two residences in different towns, separated for a while) before he got an administrative position, I quit my dream job, and we decided to have kids. Since the children were born, I’ve worked independently from home. Unable to find a (read one) full-time job, I’ve now “embraced” my role as a freelance contractor working on multiple projects simultaneously. I currently teach as an adjunct professor, work as an educational consultant for a museum that is undergoing expansion, create on-line teaching materials for a publishing company, and write art/educational materials for a number of art history and teaching websites (OER’s).
VIRGINIA’S MINDSET AND WORK-LIFE MIX:
Right now, I’m in career re-entry and building mode. That means I alternate between being overly ambitious, positive, and excited about all the new opportunities I’ve found that will help me network and develop new skills, and freaking out about how will I ever be able to indulge my professional/workaholic tendencies with two 5 year olds who are about to start kindergarten at a new school next year. Generally, I am a pretty positive person who can be impulsive, but has a strategic mind about how things might work together toward a good outcome. I am also a perfectionist who over-thinks and analyzes everything, and try-as-I-might, continues to take on just a little too much. So, while I envy the day I’m done with work before 11pm, ultimately I know I’d be bored otherwise.
My mix is leaning a little more toward work these days than family/fun/me time. Unfortunately, the nature of freelance is that your time is your own, but you’re subject to other people’s deadlines. While I get to pick up my kids every day, and spend time with them after school, I also have to work a lot at night and on weekends–when my husband takes on a lot of child care and domestic chores. With summer coming, I have classes and some projects winding up, but the kids will be home a lot more. During the school year, Sunday’s his me-time, so that’s when I usually do solo fun things with kids–we live in a great area for parks, zoos, museums, and the never-ending pre-school stream of birthday parties. My challenge is finding one-on-one time with twins. Right now, other than quick errand runs or dog walking excursions, I’m only getting real solo time with each child about once a month, which isn’t enough. The house is pretty much a wreck–and that’s just not going to be solved for a while, so I ignore it best I can (not easy; see perfectionism above). My husband cooks a lot, often grilled or smoked foods on weekends to freeze for the weekends–then I’ll take over and do sides during the week. For me, the gym’s my escape. . . and has been since I discovered one with good childcare when I had infant twins. Right now, I’m lucky to get in three short (45-1hour) workouts, but that should get better with summer. I’m also just coming off a quick weekend away (a little work and play) in New York, which I get to do about every 6 months.
What advice would you give an earlier version of yourself?
I would share how much I do enjoy the freedom of a freelance/project-based career. Are you familiar with Daniel Pink’s ideas about how we’re becoming a world of free agents? In my professional life before children, I was hired several times with the task of building a program, but once I’d established the necessary groundwork for its sustainability, I moved on to the next job. Now, I’m finding opportunities to use my experience to help with that initial research/planning/program building element that I really enjoy the most. I’m fortunate that my husband’s job provides health care and it allows me to maintain some independence from a single institution. This flexibility has also allowed me to find ways to develop professional opportunities that have more personal significance–i.e., I’m currently negotiating a bartering agreement with my kids’ school where I will work with the teachers to develop a visual art curriculum in exchange for tuition next year. In addition to the financial element, this project will build my skills in a new direction (Montessori/primary grades), and I get to be directly involved in my children’s education. How neat is that?
Control and flexibility are keys to life as a free agent. Generally, I’ve most enjoyed the freedom to pursue multiple interests simultaneously. I’m developing a broader range of skills than if I was in a single, full-time position. In addition to the work experience per se, it’s allowed me opportunities to engage in professional development, especially in learning new technologies and staying current around new practices/theories in the field. I also think it’s telling that, at least in my fields of education and non-profit museums, I have found it possible to earn more as a freelancer than as a full-time employee (although that’s not adjusted for if I was responsible for health care).
What do you currently find most challenging/concerning about your work-life mix? What areas do you most needs support?
Child care. Everything about it is challenging in my situation. Finding someone of good quality that you’re (and your kids are) comfortable with; the time-consuming process of interviewing and working the contract out; the expense; the issues of dependability, and the inevitable schedule changes brought about by changes in two working parents, unexpected sick calls from school, etc. I’ve found this especially difficult because as a freelancer, I theoretically have flexible time, but that leaves me feeling like I should figure out a way to spend time with my kids rather than have a nanny tending to them after school or on sick days. The reality is, however, that my jobs add up to much more than a 40 hour work week, so I’m stuck wondering if it might be easier with a fixed schedule where a regular nanny/caretaker would be the only choice.
Please share specific tips for effectively managing your time and schedule.
I had to laugh when I read your request for a practical tip. Nothing comes to mind! One thing that I do try to keep in mind is to stop and force myself to notice little things that are really the best part of having kids–like Harry’s expression when he’s asleep, Maddie dancing when she thinks no one is watching, or seeing them mindlessly reach for each others hands when they’re in a new situation.
Is there anything you would like to share about work-life mix?
I like the concept of a mix because balance isn’t possible–it’s like setting yourself up to fail. For me, I’m just beginning to recognize that I have to continue to shift my attention constantly to the different responsibilities and concerns in my life–at any given moment. Sometimes that means renegotiating my own expectations or previous ways of doing things; other times, it’s about just being okay with the fact that I’m giving more time and energy right now to kids, work, husband, self, or whatever…..and that I’ll need to figure out a way to compensate the other element appropriately.
I’m at a very transitional stage–just reentering my professional life, and my kids are just entering school after the past two years in pre-school. I guess the other thing is that I haven’t been very successful in finding good mentor/role models for the whole mixed up mothering/working idea–so perhaps your site is especially warranted. My close friends (whom I knew pre-motherhood) are too busy with their own lives and their own kids–most of whom are older than my own; the moms that I know nearby I’ve met through my children, so we have little in common professionally or personally. I have found that I rely most on my single friends who provide the greatest support both professionally and personally, but they don’t have the experience to give me concrete suggestions about how to manage my family/work time more efficiently.
