“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
This week’s Wixii™-ism was a great reminder for me. I am wearing several hats these days, and while a flexible schedule has been one of the keys to making it all work, it has become clear that flexibility in and of itself is only a tool, not a solution. In other words, flexibility requires prioritization and management; otherwise, it can itself become a hindrance to living an authentic life.
Last week’s featured Wixii, Virginia Spivey, shared, “as a freelancer, I theoretically have flexible time, but that leaves me feeling like I should figure out a way to spend time with my kids rather than have a nanny tending to them after school or on sick days. The reality is, however, that my jobs add up to much more than a 40-hour work week, so I’m stuck wondering if it might be easier with a fixed schedule where a regular nanny/caretaker would be the only choice.” Her articulation of a challenge she faces helps me to articulate some of the challenges I am currently experiencing.
When I started my new role as Chief Exploration Officer for Campbell Law Group I started logging about 30-40 hours per week on the new professional gig. Most of these hours were found during the late-night hours (since my first attempt at “childcare”—sending my son to 4 half-days of school/week while my baby took his morning nap—really only freed up about 10 additional hours per week after subtracting time navigating new relationships, chauffeuring, etc.). Combine this with a harder-than expected transition for my older son to his new school and my baby hitting several developmental milestones (and thus disrupting his sleep patterns), and I have found myself running on very little sleep.
In periods of extreme imbalance, life has a way of reminding me to slow down and step back. I have recently realized that I am still trying to do it all without meaningfully prioritizing. I “think” that I am prioritizing, but my actions do not actually reflect those priorities. Last week, I was challenged by two separate but trusted sources to meaningfully prioritize. A new friend listened to me describe my new state of exhaustion, and he kindly challenged me to figure out if I could somehow take on less so that I could really invest myself in what I did undertake. Then, our pastor gave a compelling homily on prioritizing and multitasking—he pointed out that in a time when we are empowered to do so many different things, many of us actually do not know how to prioritize. We simply try to do it all, and we falsely believe that we can and should do it all. Then, when we have children, we try to keep doing all the things we were used to doing and expect to simply add children into that mix without making adjustments or prioritizing. Two days later, I was involved in a 3-car accident—caused by a driver who was texting while driving. All 3 cars were quite damaged, but, fortunately, no one was injured. These separate encounters, over the course of a few short days, reminded me to focus on what is truly important in my life and to figure out how to make my actions reflect my priorities—even amidst a “flexible” schedule.
This week’s featured Wixii, Brooke Borgen, impressed me with the way she manages her work-life mix. She explains, “I fill my plate quite full during the 20-25 or so hours/week that I have without my kids but then rarely sacrifice my afternoon/evening/weekend time with them…I have my kids in school or with a sitter from 8:30am until 2pm Monday through Thursday and 8:30am until 11am on Fridays…so approximately 25 hours each week.” Essentially, she practices time blocking, which Wixii Trish Gibbons, also recommends. I very much appreciate the concrete steps taken by these Wixii women to prioritize and better manage their individual work-life mix, and I will work on doing the same.
How do you prioritize? What concrete actions do you take to help ensure that you are living an authentic life that reflects your true priorities? Please join our Facebook conversation.
