“Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes [a person] to quickly pull far away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger.”
One of the goals at Women in the Mix in sharing stories of real women navigating the mix of work-life is to empower women to embrace opportunities and not allow fear to paralyze us from thriving. We all have fears that factor into our decisions and choices. And we each experience those fears differently and to varying degrees. By nature, I am not fearful and naturally calculate risks as part of my everyday assessment. Each day, my children reinforce the importance of not allowing fear to guide us away from opportunity. Their innocence or naiveté allows them to see the world as their oyster.
With that said, perhaps a larger appreciation of the risks would benefit my sons. Just this week, our Father’s Day fishing evening turned into our third trip to the ER since January 1st, necessitating an ER doctor, two physician assistants, and the even the hospital janitor to remove a barbed tri-hook lure from a thumb (embedded as a result of my youngest being a bit too fearless). With this experience fresh in mind, I have been considering the fact that as we grow up, our appreciation of the risks increase as does our fear. Though, I realize increased appreciation is necessary for basic survival, I also realize that focusing on avoiding risks can lead to a paralyzing mindset.
So where is the sweet spot in balancing opportunity and fear? My personal story of work-life has generally been focused on pursuing and recognizing opportunities, and not much on fear. However, dear people in my life are stymied by fear, be it of failure, the unknown, or simply change, and in reading Wixii, Melissa Grossman’s profile, her life experiences and mindset may be powerful tools for many.
Melissa shares: “I recently took a year off in between jobs. I had just completed a role in a small start-up where I had done some of the best work I had ever done, and I was very proud of how I had built on all of my prior experience and contacts to contribute a great deal of value in a short period of time. I was thinking very hard about what to do next (as well as taking a lot of time to just hang out with my kids, husband, family and friends.) The last several roles I had been in were all in small, entrepreneurial companies. While I had enjoyed them all and learned so much from each situation, I also felt I could potentially benefit from returning to the stability of a more corporate position. However, when it came time to make a decision about my next job, I ended up choosing another start-up, and this one was in an industry that I knew nothing about – commercial real estate development. Why would I do that? First, the person who asked me to join him as a partner in the effort was someone who had been in the industry for a long time, someone who I trusted, admired, and who believed in my ability to learn and add value quickly. Second, the industry was one that was on its way up again after a long slump. Third, and most importantly, I had been working almost my entire career in “idea”-capital businesses, that is, businesses whose assets were primarily intangible such as consulting, patents, services, etc. I thought it was a wise choice to migrate to an industry where the assets were hard goods – real estate. I felt that it would give me a new perspective and the ability to apply my experience in an entirely new way.”
Fear of the unknown didn’t navigate Melissa’s decision, but rather she embraced the new opportunity after a thoughtful assessment. Does fear hold you back from opportunity? Can you apply this to your own work-life story? Please join our Facebook conversation.
