“Matt will make the best dad,” one of my husband’s college roommates told me before Matt and I even started dating. Fast-forward almost 15 years, and his roommate’s casual comment continues to ring in my ears. I think about this frequently as my husband and I navigate our journey of parenting young children, vacillating between moments of pure joy and pure frustration.
At this point, we have journeyed through several seasons of life together: college, graduate school, career starts and transitions, multiple cross-country moves, deaths of loved ones, and now parenthood. What I continue discovering is that my husband IS the best [fill-in-the-blank based on the season of our life]. While this “best” is largely credited to who he is (and the family that raised him), it is also a result of a vigilant intentionality, open communication, and ongoing refinement. Even before we married, we embraced “love” as an active verb, rather than a passive feeling. In addition to being my amazing spouse and the father to my children, I lean on my husband as my trusted advisor and best friend. We are constantly learning about what it means to be true partners, in all aspects of life. It is an active process.
This week’s featured Wixii™, Maria Johnson, practices dentistry alongside her husband, and they are true partners from work to home to the golf course. She shares, “My husband and I have the same goals and work together very well to have a fulfilling work and home life.” Another couple, John and Eileen Donahoe, recently shared about leaning into their marriage, “We were lucky to find each other in college and saw ourselves as equal partners from the start, so we operated from that starting place along the way. During those early years, we just assumed we would “have it all” – fulfilling marriage, family and careers. While we didn’t know how we were going to do it, we took it as a given that we would approach our lives as partners.” They have four children, and he is the eBay CEO while she is the U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. Human Rights Council. It has not always been easy or as high profile, but they have found creative solutions as a result of their commitment to a “life full of family, friends and meaningful work.” The Johnson’s and the Donahoe’s encourage us to continue to explore creative solutions for our family, such as Matt altering his work schedule so that I could pursue my entrepreneurial ventures while enabling both of us to experience hands-on parenting. As with the Donahoe’s, we’re not always sure that we’re “doing it right,” but we are certainly trying and we are committed.
Sheryl Sandberg has said, “The most important career choice you’ll make is who you marry. I have an awesome husband, and we’re 50/50.” While I agree that who you marry is important, I believe HOW you approach your marriage is just as, if not more, important. So, how does your marriage fit in your equation of work-family-other relationships (including with your children)-life in general? In what ways are your spouse a true partner and confidant with whom you share various aspects of life? Please share your partnering solutions with us.
