Name: Carla Khabbaz
Location: Colorado
Company: A Fresh Start Alliance
Professional Industry: Coaching
Job Title: Life Coach & Founder
WIXII-ISM™ FROM CARLA:
“I feel our relationship with ourselves is the most vital relationship we can cultivate. Too often, I see women give to others more easily than they give to themselves. I see them wrapping their happiness, success, and identity around people, places, and things that are outside of them. I know that for many years, I was in the same boat. It took a lot of practice to learn to receive rather than just give, take good care of myself, and set healthy boundaries. It felt so foreign at first that when I think back to that time, it makes me laugh.”
CARLA’S STORY:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Carla Khabbaz. She is 44 and mother to a 13 year-old son and 9 year-old daughter. She received a B.A in Communications and Visual Communication Design from Purdue University as well as her credentials as a (1) Energy Leadership Master Practitioner and (2) Certified Professional Coach from the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. She currently is a Leadership Coach and the owner of A Fresh Start Alliance.
An interesting fact about Carla is that she loves adventure! She shares, “Adventure has been one of my greatest teachers in life. In the field of self-help and transformation, I see too much internal processing going on. Solely, internal processing leaves out an important second step: Action. Adventure allows me to take what I’ve learned and integrate in real time…to stop processing it and start living it.”
CARLA’S CAREER PATH:
I began my career doing marketing and public relations for a fashion PR firm in NYC. My top account was Ray Ban Sunglasses, which provided for some nice perks. I left NY for Boulder, Colorado where I became the Director of Marketing for Rockies Brewing Company (now Boulder Beer). After getting married and moving to Tampa, Florida, I worked as the Regional Graphics Coordinator for PrimeCo Cellular (now Verizon). Once my son was born, I took time off to focus on family. I worked as a freelance graphic designer off and on through those years, but mostly was a stay-at-home mom for the next 10 years. After my divorce, I went back to school to get an Associates Degree in Interior Design and had the pleasure of working on a few projects. Not long after that, I started to pursue my life-long dream of helping others learn to Live on Purpose. In 2012, I graduated from the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and opened my practice in October of that year.
CARLA’S MINDSET:
My mantra is a quote by Joseph Campbell: “I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.” Given that, I would describe my attitude towards life as: always seeking inspiration, opportunity is everywhere, fear and perfectionism are dream-killers, everything is possible, and close your eyes and jump — you will be okay. In using this motto, I am PRO: optimism, opportunity, good enough, always worthy, risk-taking, planning but rely on heavy doses of spontaneity and flexibility. I don’t believe in pessimism, idealism, perfectionism, or paralysis by analysis.
Self: how do you strengthen your own identity and not lose yourself in the mix?
I feel our relationship with ourselves is the most vital relationship we can cultivate. Too often, I see women give to others more easily than they give to themselves. I see them wrapping their happiness, success, and identity around people, places, and things that are outside of them. I know that for many years, I was in the same boat. It took a lot of practice to learn to receive rather than just give, take good care of myself, and set healthy boundaries. It felt so foreign at first that when I think back to that time, it makes me laugh.
The health and strength of our relationship with ourself is the foundation from which we go out into the world and build relationships with others. This strong foundation allows us to be comfortable in our own skin, confident, and peaceful. We feel safe and secure regardless of outside circumstances. We feel connected to ourself and something greater than ourselves. We have much more to give to those around us. In turn, we bring these same qualities into all of our other relationships, and they are more likely to thrive because they are interdependent vs codependent. My personal practice of maintaining my authenticity is a mix of many things: communicating fearlessly with everyone around me, connecting with myself daily through meditation or visualization, relying on my intuition as much as logic, making conscious choices in each moment as to how I want to show up, being very intentional about what I am doing and why, and spending time with people and doing things that really allow me to connect to the full essence of who I am.
Describe a “day in your life” from waketime to bedtime:
I am really free-form with my schedule because I believe in taking action based on intuition and guidance as much as need. I like to follow the energy throughout my day. I follow a morning routine that allows me to connect with my inner guide and set my intention for the day ahead. After I get my children off to school, I spend my hours working with private clients and the necessities of running my business. I also make sure to allow time for exercise, a contingency hour for any unplanned occurrences and any pressing errands needed to keep my home life running smoothly. During the week, my evenings are usually dedicated to my kids — family dinner is an important part of our day as is taking time to relax together. After I tuck my daughter in for bed, I spend some time reading, relaxing, or writing — whatever my mood dictates. I am a big fan of sleep, so it’s light out at 10:00 PM for me.
How does your current mindset/attitude empower and/or frustrate your ability to thrive in your work-life mix? How has your mindset/attitude toward life changed over time?
I experienced a major shift in my attitude toward work-life mix last summer. As a new business owner, I felt overwhelmed because there was always something that needed to be taken care of. As a result, I was constantly focused on what still needed to get done or the fact that I didn’t “finish” rather than focusing on all I had accomplished each day. In addition, I was feeling drained and resentful because I had lost my balance and wasn’t connecting with my kids to the level I wanted or having much fun in all areas of life. This was disappointing to me because I was passionate about coaching and helping other — yet, I was suddenly working a J.O.B rather than investing in something inspiring that made me feel alive.
The turning point came when I realized I was working from a place of fear rather than love. I was so focused on my goals that I had lost sight of the fun and magic that exists in each day. I was afraid that if I didn’t send that last email, or missed out on that networking opportunity, or didn’t finish that project that I wasn’t doing it right and wasn’t going to succeed. I was arranging everything I did around fear of not failing. I felt so burnt-out that I took two weeks off to reflect. During this time, I realized I needed to let go of what everyone else thought a new business should look like, simplify, and slow down. I started putting equal importance on having fun, exercising, and doing things that made me FEEL good. I also amped up my trust in myself and gave myself permission to try these things without attaching them to a successful outcome. If I tried and tried my best — that was all that mattered. At the end of each day, I spent 10 minutes reflecting on all that I had accomplished that day. I shifted my perspective and thus my experience greatly improved. I am so much happier now and feel that my life is much fuller because I am allowing myself to have so many more experiences.
Please share your favorite efficiencies and timesavers.
Eating healthy is really important for me. I follow the following schedule to simplify the process: (1) meal planning on Sunday; (2) grocery shopping and prepping all meals or pre-cook what I can for the next three days (for example, I wash and cut all of the veggies for my green juices and store them in the fridge in ziplock bags; and (3) I repeat step 2 on Thursday afternoon. This has made the experience of cooking and family dinner so much more enjoyable because it requires less work each day. And, because I view eating healthy and caring for my body equally important as working in my business, I don’t get stuck thinking: “I should be doing something else” or “I don’t have time for this.”
Please see Carla’s special promotional offer for Wixii women.
