Name: Anne Smart
Location: Chicago, IL
Professional Industry: Family Business Education/Academic Research and Consulting
Company: Loyola University Family Business Center
Job Title: Membership Director
WIXII-ISM™ FROM ANNE SMART:
“Over the arc of my work and home careers, I have made choices about advancing my career or my education based upon my work life and family structure. I have changed careers according to increased or decreased flexibility and financial need.”
“I wish women were kinder to one another and shared the concept of life as a “menu” with opportunities and choices. I wish we would support women and men and families by sharing the variety of our choices and their outcomes over a longer period of time.”
PERSONAL INFORMATION:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Anne Smart. She is in her early 50s and mother to four children, ages 23, 17, 14, and 12. She and her husband, Jeff, were married 1 year before they welcomed their first child together, and she had a son from a previous marriage. She received a B.A. in Communications from St. Xavier University. She is the Membership Director at Loyola University Family Business Center (the “Center”), a leading center in family business education program development and research. Her professional responsibilities include engaging business-owning families, building and sustaining a member network that addresses their unique needs and interests, and developing and implementing a comprehensive membership program. She also provides leadership support and facilitation to the Center’s Peer Advisory Groups and coaching teams. Her husband is the Director of Major Gifts at The Jesuits.
As 60% caregiver and 40% breadwinner, she devotes approximately 50 hours per week to her career and would rate her work-life satisfaction level as 7 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest). She describes the policies of her workplace as quite work-life friendly. In the household, she handles 80% of the cooking and shopping, 60% of the caregiving, 40% of the laundry and children’s extra-curricular activities, and less than 20% of the cleaning and children’s school work.
To maintain her own well-being, she meditates and exercises daily. On a weekly basis, she strives to eat well and connect with loved ones and friends. On a monthly basis, she squeezes in hobbies, catches up on sleep, and enjoys a pampering. She travels annually. When she stayed at home with her children, volunteer activities took a larger percentage of her time; she now volunteers at church and her children’s school (less than 10 hours/month).
WORK-LIFE MIX:
My current work-life mix is possible (manageable) because of…
Google calendar, smart phones, remote access, and a cleaning lady. My husband also pulls more than equal share at home and has a second job as a part-time realtor.
In what ways did your work-life mix change after having children?
Before children, I was immersed in work. I had my first child at 28 and stayed home until he was 3. Divorced shortly after that and remarried two years later. Worked full time for five more years and stayed home full time for five more. Returned to work, consulting, and working part-time until my children were in school nearly full time. Over the arc of my work and home careers I have made choices about advancing my career or my education based upon my work life and family structure. I have changed careers (from financial services marketing to higher ed fundraising to membership services and recruiting) according to increased or decreased flexibility and financial need.
Growing-up, what was your vision of work and life?
My mother worked full time after my youngest sibling went to school. My dad worked and traveled for work. We had a big family and both incomes were necessary to support us. I aspired to a college education that would allow me to have a career and a family.
What has surprised you most about juggling work and family?
I kept looking for a road map or a mentor to show me the way and realized that there isn’t one. I also accepted early on that my choices were mine, and worked for me but maybe not someone else. I don’t expect everyone to do things the way I did – I wish women were kinder to one another and shared the concept of life as a “menu” with opportunities and choices. I wish we would support women and men and families by sharing the variety of our choices and their outcomes over a longer period of time. What seems so pressing at one age may not be that important in the grand scheme. Yet we need to develop real awareness of our values and stay true to those values. It’s easy to get sidetracked into wanting things and working to keep up with the “Joneses.” I have a different view today than I did 10 years ago. I am 51 years old with four children, a marriage that I value, and a full time job. I am a sister and a daughter and a friend. I am VERY lucky and fortunate to have had an education, a middle class upbringing, and all the opportunities that go with those.
I didn’t feel I could ask my work to change or that they would change so I adapted. My path was such that my caregiving responsibilities, the time I spent with my children and extended family, drove my choices. I always believed that my children were probably just fine with my great nanny, cleaning lady, and husband pulling his more than equal share. What happened to me is that I finally realized that I was never going to get the time back with my kids. And since I wasn’t on track to be CEO or a doctor or attorney, I stepped off to be with them. I was lucky that I could do it. It was my “menu choice.” I wouldn’t tell someone else that they should choose my way. I know I have more children than the average working woman – we chose to have four children and I am conscious that if I had had fewer children, I might not have taken the five years off of work. If I hadn’t been divorced and remarried, I might have stayed in the financial services/marketing world which would have required longer hours but paid higher salaries. I haven’t aspired to a role or a position that would have required a different work commitment (e.g., law, medicine, tenured faculty, etc.). If I had, I would have had to limit the size of my family and maybe change the kind of husband I married! I knew what I wanted though and it really was family first. It’s hard to write that because I am aware there are many who don’t have the choices I did. I believe the workplace should change to accommodate healthy families and communities – I just don’t know how that will happen
Describe a current “day in your life” from waketime to bedtime:
5:10am: Wake-up.
5:30-6:30am: Exercise with workout buddy followed by 20 minute mediation group.
7:15 am: Home to shower/change. Husband oversees lunch brigade for three kids, two teens drive together to school, 12 y/o walks dog.
8:00am: Mom, Dad, and 12 y/o out the door. Check and answer emails on way to work (commute with husband).
8:45am: Arrive at work.
Lunch: At desk or 30% out of office for business meetings/travel.
5:00pm: Leave work. Husband drives while I check emails, return calls in car, work out the night plan on the way home.
6:00pm: Home to cook dinner and/or attend meeting, kids sports event. Family dinner together only on Sunday because of high school schedules.
8:00pm: Everyone back at the house – laundry, lunches, schedule review/sync for the next day – a little mindless TV, read.
10:00pm: In bed.
On a daily basis, I am energized/motivated/inspired by:
Daily mediation and prayer, exercise and my exercise buddies, my work, my children, and my spouse.
On a daily basis, I am drained/frustrated by:
Wish I had more energy and more sleep. Menopause is working its black magic on my memory banks.
What do you wish you could change about your current work-life mix?
More time alone with my husband and without a running list of to dos. More time with my teenage children when they are ready to talk. Teens are ready to hang out with you right about the time I need to go to bed! They are like vampires – they really get going about 10 pm!
What does “having it all” mean to you?
Wanting what I have is “having it all.” Wanting what you have is an exercise in frustration. Being grateful and practicing kindness towards myself and others is a good way to go through life…
Do you think that you “have it all”?
I think the whole concept of “having it all” is an illusion that is dangerous. It sets up unrealistic expectations in us and in others that leave us not knowing what we want and wanting what isn’t important.
WIXII™ WISDOM:
Share your key(s) to maintaining order (“managing it all”) and any tools you highly recommend:
Sunday night calendar review with the family. Wake up early and get centered (whatever it takes, exercise, meditation, prayer, quiet time, etc.). Stop taking myself so seriously! Laugh as much as you can. Find some beauty every day and hang on to it!
I love Penelope Trunk – I don’t agree with everything she says but she makes me feel better about making mistakes. Shared Google calendars and smart phone are also my musts.
What advice would you give a pre-child version of yourself?
Assuming that my pre-child version of myself would listen… I would say, “Finish school and pick the right husband and have your babies before you are 30. You’ll never have this much energy again! Stop smoking and get on with it. And keep working or going to school part-time. You need to keep your hand in the pool so you don’t have to work so hard to get back in the full time work force. You will be sooo tired if you wait to have children after 35. And you can travel with kids…it’s just that no one will want to sit next to you on that flight to Italy 🙂
WIXII’S™ LAST STAND:
Is there anything else you would like to share regarding your work-life mix?
It’s mine – it might not work for anyone else. If I could change one thing it would be to make maternity leave mandatory for men. They might like it!
