Guest Post by Nicole’s brother -in-law David Seawell:
“Sheryl Sandberg is a giant in our house. My wife and I first became aware of her from her TED talk when it was posted in late 2010. I’m a TED junkie and I made her sit and watch it with me. I haven’t read Lean In, but the TED talk has informed many of our decisions, not only as a couple, or professionals, but mostly as parents of our daughter and our son. It informed our decision to keep our daughter with a female pediatrician, when her original male doctor returned from a sabbatical. And when we realized we were killing ourselves trying to raise two kids under 6 and maintain two intense leadership positions in our various fields, it informed or edified our decision for my wife to stay in a corporate role, while I transitioned home. So it should be taken as read that I think Sandberg’s overall message of gender equality, and combating the marginalization of women, is an important one. As a work-from-home dad, I also appreciate her mention of how difficult society makes it for men to step out of the traditional role as bread winner. Because it is difficult, even in Seattle one of the most gender balanced cities in the country. However, as a supervisor of a division which was mostly women, in a law firm which was headed by two women, and as the husband of a vice president of a Fortune 500 company, I have never come across anyone, man or woman, but especially no women, who I thought needed to lean in to their job more. Again I haven’t read the book, but I’m worried that her message places too high a value on work. In general, I think most people in our country are overworked. I’m worried that Sandberg’s book may accept the current unhealthy and often counter-productive level of work in this country as a given. Like Sandberg, I long for a country where neither my daughter nor my son feel confined by their gender in how they choose to lead their life. But more than anything, I want them to live in a world where they can define— and are supported in their definition— what a fulfilling and happy life looks like. So, I’m not sure if I agree with her that women need to lean in more, but I do hope her book and this conversation helps us all take a step back and rethink how we prioritize the few hours we have.”
