I like order. I take that back. I LOVE order. When I first became a mom, I figured, if I just read a little more, prepared a little bit more, organized a little bit more, PLANNED a little bit more, I would be able to maintain the status quo or at least a strong semblance of the order I had in my pre-parenting days. Now, 3-years into the mommy-hood journey, with a second child in the mix, I am finally realizing my own folly
Coming from someone who needs to clean my desk before I can focus on my work, it is no surprise that I was a bit slow on the uptake, right? You see, my mind works very systematically, and I am a process-driven person. In fact, companies and people seek me out to create and implement processes for them. But, I am reminded every day that children are not “processes,” and they don’t naturally conform to processes, much less my processes. When I decided to “train” my older son on his morning routine, I created a chart complete with visual depictions of each step in his routine. He was initially intrigued by the chart and followed along for a few days. However, he quickly found ways to distract and deviate. It was not that he did not understand or remember the routine, it was more that he did not want to cooperate—he tested boundaries and stalled (whether intentionally or not)—frustrating but normal in childhood development. So, while I still think that routines are important (and I can attest that it helps with maintaining some level of predictability and sanity), this week’s Wixii™-ism rings true to me, “[c]arefully and thoughtfully plan your days, weeks, and months…but hold those plans loosely.” (Cheryl, Copperswife).
This week’s featured Wixii™, Miko Brown’s, story also very much resonates, “Be flexible. Simply having children makes flexibility key because they don’t understand or care about mommy’s schedule and how I’ve mapped out the day. Once I embraced flexibility and relinquished some control over my schedule, I’ve been much happier and productive.” Miko’s experience may be easier shared than applied, but in my personal practice, I can very much relate to her perspective.
As someone who prizes efficiency and embraces planning ahead to maximize productivity, I am slowly learning that all my planning and organizing make helpful guides rather than firmly set formulas and schedules. Reminding myself of this distinction multiple times a day helps me to actually step back, hold loosely, and embrace what comes outside of my own plans, which then enables my family to function with less frustration and greater satisfaction. What lessons have you learned about holding loosely? How do you make this a practice in your life? Please join our Facebook conversation.
