Name: Cheryl Crain
Location: Erie, CO
Professional Industry: Teaching
Company: Louisville Elementary School
Job Title: 3rd Grade Teacher
WIXII-ISM™ FROM CHERYL: “I initially made the decision to stay home with my kids until they were at least school age. I didn’t realize at the time that there were many different ways to be a working mom and when I found a way that I thought would work for me I eagerly went for it.”
“I think ‘having it all’ for me means being content and happy with my current mix. I don’t think you have to “have it all” all at once. I know that there are wonderful things that I have now that I will never have again, and there are many things I don’t have now that I can hopefully look forward to in the future. I just want to make the most of every stage in my life.”
PERSONAL INFORMATION:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Cheryl Crain. She is in her 30s and mother to Landon (6) and Haley (4). She and her husband, Jared, were married 3 years before they welcomed their first child into the world. She received a B.A. in Psychology and Elementary Education from the University of Colorado at Boulder and an M.A. in Educational Media from the University of Northern Colorado. She currently holds a job-share position as a 3rd grade teacher and her responsibilities include planning and implementing instruction in reading, writing, social studies and science, providing a learning environment that supports both the academic and social/emotional growth of all students, keeping adequate records of student progress, collaborating with colleagues and pursuing professional development to enhance teaching practices. Her husband, Jared is an attorney whose practice focuses on corporate transactions and estate planning.
As the 80% caregiver and 20% breadwinner, she devotes 26-30 hours per week to her career and would rate her work-life satisfaction level as 9 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest). She describes the policies of her workplace as quite work-life friendly. In the household, she handles 75% of the caregiving, cleaning, shopping, and children’s extracurricular activities. She is also responsible for 50% of the cooking, laundry, and children’s school work.
To maintain her own well-being, on a weekly basis, she exercises, tries to eat well, and catches up on sleep. She teaches two Zumba Fitness classes per week, which allows her to exercise and have some time to herself. On a monthly basis, she squeezes in time for hobbies, loved ones, friends, and pampering. On an annual basis, she travels and prays/meditates.
WORK-LIFE MIX:
My current work-life mix is possible (manageable) because of…
The biggest reason that my work-life mix is possible is my schedule. The principal of the school where I work is very supportive of me and my family and has offered me a schedule where I teach 50% (in the afternoons). Because my son goes to the same school, we have many added schedule conveniences, such as him coming to my room at the end of the day while I wrap-up and me popping in his classroom for special occasions. I am also able to be home in the mornings every day with my preschooler, and we take advantage of this time with a range of activities, including prepping dinner or simply playing together.
In addition, I have family nearby to babysit so that my husband and I can have regular date nights and some occasional weekend getaways. My husband also equally shares some major household responsibilities such as laundry and cooking. We have lightened our load with a house cleaner twice a month. This is a complete life saver in my book! Jared and I regularly problem-solve on how we can make our schedule work for everyone in the family.
In what ways did your work-life mix change after having children?
It’s funny because in some ways I am more efficient in prioritizing than before kids. I used to work full time and without kids at home I would often stay late at work (you can never put in enough hours as a teacher). I didn’t think it was possible to be a good teacher and a good mom at the same time, so at first I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. However, during my first year at home, I started missing being in the classroom; around that same time, a good friend of mine asked me about job-sharing a first-grade class. An excellent childcare situation also fell into place and that gave me the courage to head back to teaching when Landon was 18 months old. When I went back to work, I began working more efficiently at work so that I could leave to pick up Landon from his daycare provider at a decent time. My prep for just half a day also took less time. Fewer hours at work meant more time for outings at the park, games at home, and playdates with friends. Family now takes up a much larger percentage of my time. I have really loved that change.
On the other hand, time for me changed drastically. Since my husband is the primary “breadwinner,” I quickly felt like I was the default parent. If I want to work out, go out with friends, head to the store by myself, get my hair-cut, etc., I have to arrange that with my husband or babysitter. Jared, however, can count on me to just be there if he has any of those things come up for him. When I get off work, I immediately take on my role as “mom.” As a working mom, I feel like I have already taken time away from my kids so it’s difficult to feel I can take any more time for myself. As the kids have gotten older, the “time for me” part of my work-life mix gradually has been returning.
Growing-up, what was your vision of work and life?
Growing up, I didn’t think I’d do anything differently than my parents did. They both worked and also made family a huge priority. I grew up in a happy and comforting environment. But looking back, my mom was often exhausted from her mix of work and managing our household. When I was pregnant with Landon I didn’t think I could do it all the way she did and if I tried, I was afraid that I too would be exhausted. I initially made the decision to stay home with my kids until they were at least school age. Knowing what my mom went through may have had something to do with that decision. I didn’t realize at the time that there were many different ways to be a working mom and when I found a way that I thought would work for me I eagerly went for it.
What has surprised you most about juggling work and family?
What has surprised me most about juggling work and family is that, as the kids get older, the two often complement each other. I think my son is very proud that his mom is a teacher at his school. He sees the satisfaction I get from doing what I love on a daily basis. Both of the kids love to hear about my students and share in my ideas for lesson plans and projects. In fact, we all love sharing about what goes on while we are at work or school. My daughter used to always say when I dropped her off at preschool, “When you pick me up I’ll tell you about my day and then you tell me about yours, okay?”
Describe a current “day in your life” from waketime to bedtime:
7:00am: Roll out of bed and make sure Landon is moving through his morning routine; make his lunch, pack his snacks, get the kids breakfast, and send him out the door with Jared by 7:40.
7:30am: Haley and I cuddle and watch Super Why (some mornings she also has gymnastics).
8:00-10:00am: Shower while Haley watches a second show or gets ready herself; we typically get ready, make beds, and do some other chores together followed by play time.
10:15am: Leave for school and drop her off at her school at 10:30am.
10:45am-2:30 pm: Teach (reading groups, lunch, spelling, planning time (specials), social studies/science); I dismiss my third graders with hug and high fives.
2:30-3:30pm: Planning while Landon joins me or has after-school Spanish class.
3:45pm: Pick-up Haley at her school.
4:00pm: About 2x/week, we have activities such as soccer or basketball. On the other days, we head home and enjoy some downtime.
6:00pm: Family dinner; we all share our “highs” and “lows” of the day.
7:00pm: Bedtime routines and the sacred book time! 2 nights/week this is all with me; 2 nights/week it’s all with Jared; 3x/week, we do it all together. This way, Jared and I can fit in our exercise and some extra time we need personally. Plus, Daddy’s pillow fight night when I’m gone is always a huge treat.
8:00pm: Bedtime for the kids! Some nights we crash on the couch to watch a recorded TV show. Other nights we get caught up on reading, work, Zumba playlists, etc. while the other one is playing a soccer game or at a class.
11:00 pm: Attempted bedtime for the grown-ups!
On a daily basis, I am energized/motivated/inspired by:
This is easy. I am continually energized, motivated and inspired by my husband. Jared is amazing with our kids, always has great ideas for date nights, and truly enjoys sitting down with me to make plans. We plan about the little things; how are we going to help our kids stop their whining habit? How are we going to meal plan more efficiently? And the big things; what direction do we want our life to go? What do we want for our kids? These plans for our future help me to look forward to what’s to come. My friendships are also very important. I don’t think I could get through this stage in my life without girlfriends to share this motherhood journey with me. I call my friend Nicole daily and each conversation is like a therapy session for the both of us.
On a daily basis, I am drained/frustrated by:
I am drained by the constant management of behaviors of kids under eight. Whether it’s my own kids or my students, I am tired of hearing my voice say things like, “Have you brushed your teeth yet? What do you need to do next?” “Whose coat is lying on the floor, can that person please pick it up?” “Can you use your words to tell Landon how you feel?” Ahhhh!!!
What do you wish you could change about your current work-life mix?
My wardrobe! I want to be a fashionable mom and professional but shopping with kids in tow just doesn’t cut it. And shopping online can only take you so far…
What does “having it all” mean to you?
I think “having it all” for me means being content and happy with my current mix. I don’t think you have to “have it all” all at once. I know that there are wonderful things that I have now that I will never have again, and there are many things I don’t have now that I can hopefully look forward to in the future. I just want to make the most of every stage in my life.
Do you think that you “have it all”?
I do. I am content and happy with my current mix. I have built-in time to exercise, a career I love, lots of quality time with my family, and an amazing husband. It’s not everyone’s dream, but at this point in my life it’s mine!
WIXII™ WISDOM:
Share your key(s) to maintaining order (“managing it all”):
I have always been interested in ways to stay organized. Even if my life feels chaotic, some organizational systems can help it run a bit smoother. Since having kids I’ve read the books Organize Now!, Absolutely Organize Your Family, and The Organized Life for some inspiration. Here are some tips I like!
- Every Sunday I post our weekly schedule on a whiteboard on our refrigerator. One week at a time is manageable for the kids, and it keeps all of us on track with activities and special events.
- I use a shoe organizer on the inside of the door of our hall closet to hold glove pairs, hats, soccer shin guards, ballet shoes, etc. The kids can find what they need so much easier!
- I have one day a week when I do laundry, and I resolve to get it all done that day. It’s hard to have laundry hanging around all week long.
- Keep a tub of Clorox Wipes (or other brand) under each of your sink cabinets. They are great for quickly wiping up toothpaste streaks in the sink or other gunk that shows up in between cleanings.
- Find a bin or drawer to stash student work that you might be interested in keeping. Kids rarely want to throw it away right after they bring it home. At the end of the semester or year, go through it to truly find the “keepers.” Also, sometimes a picture of the project is just as precious.
What advice would you give a pre-child version of yourself?
I might tell her to get that Master’s Degree before starting a family because it’s hard to work classes in around nap schedules. I would also simply tell her to take more vacations, to stop complaining about not having enough time to work-out, and to read lots of good books.
