Name: Tara Benson
Location: Red Bank, NJ
Professional Industry: Legal, Software
Company: CommVault Systems, Inc
Job Title: Trademark, Licensing and Employment Counsel
WIXII-ISM™ FROM TARA BENSON:
“I view my career path as ever-evolving. I would not call it scaling back once I had children, but re-prioritizing my career. Instead of being fully defined by what I do in the office or the titles, I define my success as being able to balance a fulfilling career with meaningful family life and not feel like I am shortchanging either side or myself. I was lucky to find rewarding work that would be accommodating to me. I would never have predicted that I would be where I am today, but keeping an open mind and being willing to speak up for myself have certainly helped.”
PERSONAL AND PROFESSIONAL INFORMATION:
Meet our featured Wixii™, Tara Benson. She is in her early 40s and mother to two school aged daughters. She and her husband, Tom, were married 8 years before they welcomed their first child into the world. Her formal education is a B.S. in Policy Analysis (applied economics and government studies) from Cornell and a J.D. from Duke University School of Law. Currently, she is Trademark, Licensing and Employment Counsel for CommVault, a fast-growing data management software company. She is primarily responsible for supporting the Marketing, Development and Human Resources divisions. Tara specializes in intellectual property issues of trademarks, copyrights and licensing. Additionally, she advises on employment matters worldwide. Her husband is Executive Vice President & General Manager at AMSTAT, the leading provider of market research information and services to the corporate aviation industry.
As co-breadwinner and a co-caretaker, she devotes over 50 hours per week to her career and would rate her job satisfaction level as an 8 and work-life satisfaction level as a 7 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being highest). She describes the policies of her workplace as quite work-life friendly, particularly in the very team-oriented legal department. Tara finds the high level of responsibility and trust that has been placed in her and the reliance upon her for advice, guidance and input rewarding. She knows her intelligence and creativity is respected and sought out. Additionally, her role has been meaningful because she has been with the company during a period of quick growth and her advice has shaped how things get implemented and carried out. She shares she is sometimes frustrated by the sheer volume of work and the 24/7 aspect of working for a global software company. Though she is given the tools to be able to work from anywhere at any time, it makes it more difficult to “turn off” work at times.
In a typical week, she spends more than 50 hours working, 30 hours caregiving, 15 hours on children’s extra-curricular activities, 5-10 hours cooking and food prep, and less than 10-15 hours on laundry, cleaning, shopping and errands.
To maintain her own well-being, on a weekly basis Tara tries to get enough sleep, eat well, exercise, read and connect with loves ones and friends. She tries to compete in a few sprint triathlons or road races each spring and summer (when injury-free). On a monthly basis, Tara goes to a book club, finds time to catch up with friends, as well as travel. Annually, Tara enjoys at least a long weekend dedicated to pampering with friends and a week-long, active family getaway (skiing is their favorite). Tara volunteers at her daughters’ school as time allows.
WORK-LIFE MIX:
Describe any choices you have made in arriving at your current work-life mix. In what ways did your work-life mix change after having children?
I adjusted my work schedule to be in the office four days a week and attempt to work fewer hours. My husband cut back on his international travel for work. We hired a cleaning lady to help with cleaning. My husband shares the driving to and from daycare/school. My parents are very helpful and involved grandparents. They live a little over an hour away and are available to babysit and cover in the sick kid emergencies. We found recreational activities we could enjoy as a family — we all ice skate together every weekend. My husband and daughters take piano lessons together. We found ways to mix in things we enjoyed as a couple pre-kids with our kids. We both make sure to be home for dinner as a family every night. We have both turned down job opportunities with fancier titles and higher salaries that would require a longer commutes so that we can spend family time together. We split doing laundry. I crockpot cook most days and purchase foods that are easy to assemble into healthy meals.
Describe your career path to this point and any envisioned future changes.
When I graduated law school, I began my career as an associate for a large international firm based in Seattle. I logged many long hours and traveled frequently for cases. At that point, I was a newlywed with no kids. From there, we relocated to Philadelphia for my husband to attend Wharton. I transferred from one huge firm to another huge firm. Within the first year of being a litigation associate at the Philly firm, I realized that I did not want to stay on the partner track at a huge firm, so I took an in-house opportunity that was recommended to me. I was hired to be the #2 lawyer at a small, privately owned company that produced and distributed educational media. This was a great step in the work/life mix. I suddenly had a much more regular schedule, no more travel and the ability to participate in activities outside of the office. While I did not have any kids at this point, it was important to spend time with my husband and reconnect after being on such divergent schedules for a full year. I also learned that I really enjoyed being part of the business team and working toward a goal instead of sitting on the outside until a problem arose. After my husband graduated business school, we moved to NJ for his career. At that point, I attempted to commute to my old job, but it was clear I needed something closer to home. There was a mid-sized firm (30 lawyers) looking to hire an experienced IP attorney. I worked there for 5 years. In the beginning, it was tough to go back to a firm experience, but it was not the same crazy schedule as before due to the smaller size of the firm. I had my first daughter while working for them and I was one of the first attorneys to negotiate a part time schedule (there was a fellow senior associate who was pregnant at the same time, so we both negotiated reduced hours). This enabled me to have a decent work/life balance at a critical time with my infant daughter. When I went out on maternity leave for my second child, one of my clients decided that they preferred to work directly with me and offered me a job in-house. This is my current position, so my mid-sized firm job led me to my current position where I have been able to secure a flex schedule for my family and return to the in-house world that I enjoy most.
I have also been really lucky to find a legal department that truly operates as a team where we all pitch in for each other where we can. From the General Counsel down, we are all parents that value family time and involvement in our kids’ activities. While we are all committed to our jobs and work to assist our internal clients quickly and to a high standard of service, there is a respect for each other’s family life and no stigma for leaving the office to run to see a school play, coach soccer or lead a scout troop. We are treated as professionals capable of determining and managing our own workloads.
The only way I can see my career path changing again would be as my husband’s career path changes. Given his role, there is always the possibility of a geographic move that could impact my job. I also think that my work hours could increase once both kids are much older and more independent. I view my career path as ever-evolving. I would never have predicted that I would be where I am today but keeping an open mind and being willing to speak up for myself have certainly helped.
My current work-life mix is possible (manageable) because of…
(a) Flex schedule at work, as well as the ability to work from home
(b) Supportive team at work
(c) School has extended hours
(d) My parents live nearby and help out weekly and in emergencies
(e) Trustworthy cleaning lady
(f) Friends for playdates/sitting
Describe a current “day in your life” from waketime to bedtime:
7:15am: Alarm goes off
7:17am: Kids snuggle in bed 7:20 – five minute warning to get out of bed 7:30 all get out of bed, rush to get kids dressed and fed breakfast and school-ready
7:50- 8:00am: Bus driver arrives at door
8:00 – 8:25am: Twenty minute sprint/treadmill program
8:25am: Shower/hair/make-up
8:45am: Drive to work
9:00am: At desk, log in, have coffee and breakfast
12:30pm: Lunch at desk
5:30/5:45pm: Leave work to pick up kids 6:00pm: Home; Start Dinner
6:15pm: Hubby arrives home; check work emails
6:15- 6:45pm: Checking homework, working through homework; hubby and I check in with work as needed
6:30-7:00ish: Eat dinner NO MOBILE DEVICES ALLOWED UNTIL AFTER KIDS IN BED
7:00ish – 7:30pm: Piano practice while I clean up from dinner, organize school paperwork/backpacks for next day
7:30 -8:00pm: Bath, teeth brush, bedtime stories
8:15- 8:30pm-ish: Lights out for kids (older kid can read by herself until 8:45-9pm).
8:45pm: Laundry load goes in, make school lunches, finish any additional dinner clean up, check emails from work
9:00pm: Relax and talk to hubby, watch TV, read book, call sister or mom, call friends; respond to work emails
10:30pm: In bed (11ish asleep- usually read or watch TV for 1/2 hour)
On a daily basis…:
I am motivated by my children, my remarkable fellow moms, both working in and out of the house and my husband whose work ethic and intelligence are inspiring. I am also motivated by a dynamic work environment.
I am drained and frustrated by petty people who question and judge the choices of others. I regularly face that both at work and in the “mom” community. Sometimes, being a reduced schedule professional and a reduced-schedule mom means you don’t fit in with either world. What makes it worth it is knowing that my girls see me as a role model and understand that they can be both a professional and a parent.
WIXII™ WISDOM:
What advice would you give an earlier version of yourself?
To the young law associate me: Understand and realize that no one will set your boundaries for you. No one will come around to your office at 6:30 every night and say: “you should go home, this can wait until tomorrow” or “you should really take a vacation”. YOU and YOU alone set your work boundaries. While you need to be flexible and accommodating to certain tasks, not every project can possibly be an emergency.
To my new Mom self: Learn the magic of the word “No” said with a smile and without an apology. You do not have to volunteer at every event, you do not have to bake cookies/cupcakes etc., you do not have to attend every birthday party or handwrite holiday cards. Stop taking on more stress in your life than you already have, do those activities that are most important to you, your children, your husband and your family. Cups and paper goods for a school party are just as important as home-baked goodies.
Is there anything else you would like to share regarding your work-life mix?
I think the critical component of maintaining a really busy mix is to keep your sense of humor and figure what you are willing to trade-off. For me, dinner with the whole family every night is not something I will give up, however, it means that many nights I will work on my laptop at home.
Also, it is SO important to find and maintain those crucial female friendships for support. Even when the support is thousands of miles away and by phone, you should have at least one girlfriend in the world you can call up to share your best moments and your worst moments knowing you’re loved, supported and accepted.
