For me, the litmus test for decisions in my life is how I answer the question: “Would I Do It Again?” It is not so much that I am looking back with regret, but to use the answer, positive or negative, to help guide future decisions and choices. By asking the question, it helps me to constantly learn about myself. I use the same approach to evaluate decisions both big and small, as well as in work and life. My answers may often be more murky than clear, but just in asking the question, I practice this week’s Wixii-ism: “Knowing what not to do is equally as important as knowing what to do.”
I recognize it takes a lifetime to learn the difference between what works and what doesn’t work for each of us. These are very personal and individual decisions. In fact, I asked a dear friend and fellow recovering lawyer, Jennifer Ungar, to share whether she would attend law school again given the fact that we both practiced for relatively shorts tenures. Wixii, Jennifer Ungar, shares: “Yes, I would go to law school again because it was the right decision for me at the time and I loved it. I try hard not to second guess any of my past decisions because they make me a part of who I am today, good or bad. I truly wouldn’t be the person I am today if it hadn’t been for law school, being a lawyer, and a million other decisions I have made along the way. It certainly wasn’t always a rosy path, but I am very proud of my past life as a lawyer. I did well in law school, landed a very prestigious job that less than 20 students in my graduating class were able to land on graduation day. While I was there, I learned things about how the world works that I would still not understand nor appreciate without that background. I have tremendous confidence in my own ability to learn anything, be able to talk to anyone, and frankly, to do anything. I don’t recommend law school as a general recommendation, because that would be irresponsible. But, I do advocate following what interests you, taking on challenges that scare you, and being courageous enough to try things where you might fail. You only live once, and having the “perfect” career path or work-life balance, brings no more happiness than having a crooked or messy path. I feel I have lived a thousand lives because I have had many different careers and followed many different paths. I would do each one over and over again.”
I, on the other hand, believe I would choose another path if I was given a do-over. A defining “a-ha” moment happened when I decided to move to a business role after just four years of practicing law. A client approached me to work in-house for them. I realized that as flattered as I was for the offer and excited to work more closely with the company, I didn’t want to serve as the attorney, but rather switch into a business role with the company. Fortunately, the relationship and my work was the fuel for the offer, and I when I shared that I would love to work with them but not as an attorney, they hired me anyhow in a role of my choosing. It was a personal challenge for me to make peace with what felt like quitting or failing, as my legal career was short despite the time, energy and financial investment in law school. However, once I let go of my disappointment in my “fit” as a lawyer, I felt a freedom and chance of opportunity I never experienced as an attorney. Work became a positive in my life, not a drain, and found I was much better suited for the business roles that followed the decision to stop practicing law. With years behind me, it is so clear how one decision has infinite implications for any one person. By asking myself: “Would I do it again?” I am able to take control and make revisions, big and small, as I go forward.
Are you a natural evaluator on your work-life picture? What questions do you ask? Please join our Facebook discussion.
