Funny lady, Lucille Ball, once said: “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.” Wixii™ mothers tend, as a group, to be busy people, constantly doing more. Busy with children, house and home, school, community, and for the majority, by choice or not, all different forms of work in and out of the house. Busy with trying to cram an impossible amount in any given day and optimistic or insane to believe that, if not today, then tomorrow we will get it all done. For me, as confessed earlier this year, I love to accomplish, but I am realizing that the more I accomplish, the more I am asked to do. Generally, I have always seen this constant ask as a compliment, a positive, a tribute to my productivity and abilities. However, as exhaustion and short fuses set in throughout our home, a doubting feeling is becoming a constant companion: if there is no end to the “asks” (and opportunities) in work and life, could “less” actually be “more”?
Being so busy often makes it hard to enjoy the present, as I am focused on the transitional logistics to the next moment. I realize that not every moment is equal in importance or quality, nor requires full undivided attention, but I wonder if our family is losing a certain depth of experience due to all our hurrying and busyness. And if so, can I change our patterns now?
There is a certain amount in modern life that it is “necessary,” but it is probably much less than I think. In our 10-member household (5 humans, 2 goldens, 3 fish & 1 gecko), all have basic necessities of food and shelter, but I am quite sure that all ten of us are living a bustling existence above and beyond. You should see the gecko’s terrarium! It is hard to escape the messaging that more is better in raising children: more activities, lessons, clubs, sports, music, tutors, camps, etc… Many children have schedules akin to busy independent adults, despite being dependent on adults to meet most of those obligations. Do the advantages outweigh the challenges?
Perhaps, as Katherine Graham (cited this week as a source of wisdom and accomplishment by Wixii Scottie and as well as the Wixii Read, Warren Buffet is Bullish on Women) once said: “Some questions don’t have answers, which is a terribly difficult lesson to learn.”
I like definitive answers. But, since having children, a certain amount of the unknown is a struggling reality. Some of the best days or moments for our family are when we are all present and engaged. Certain realities require that I/we multi task through activities like when driving to the endless practices and overcooking (yikes, sorry boys) dinner because I returned a business call and threw in a load of laundry. To me, mindfulness means being completely in touch with and aware of the present moment, as well as taking a non-evaluative and non-judgmental approach to my inner experience. In turn, to do such requires constant practice and a deep well of patience, which both are currently in short supply as we hustle from here to there. I am discovering that being a little less busy could actually lead to a more enriching and meaningful day-to-day existence, i.e., Survival+. Much easier said than done, which is why we at Women in the Mix are working on developing a framework for practical implementation. We are using our respective families as a testing ground for our framework…what could go wrong?? More to come this summer!
