I am in the thick of it—in survival mode. This is what I am told by seasoned parents who are beyond the infant and toddler stages of parenting. It helps to have their perspective. But, it does not necessarily make the daily realities any less stressful.
When I embarked on the venture of Women in the Mix, one of my motivations was to help people, including myself, figure out how to make daily realities less stressful. I am constantly thinking about this topic and have turned my family into a “lab” of sorts for experimentation. We are constantly trying and applying new tips and tricks.
Recently, we started sharing our “highs and lows” of the day during our dinner conversations (thanks to Wixii Cheryl for this suggestion). It’s quickly become a family favorite as we anticipate how our toddler will choose to articulate his highs and lows each night. This past Saturday, we had a fun and low-key family day and spent a large part of the day outside enjoying the beautiful weather. As we shared our highs and lows, none of us could really remember any “lows.” I racked my brain for a bit, and suddenly, visions of my husband’s exasperated face resurfaced in my memory…at times on that Saturday, we felt pure frustration and futility primarily related to transitions and resistance from our almost 3-year old. First, it had taken us over an hour to get our son dressed that morning because he managed to stall despite our best efforts to focus and redirect his distractions. Second, getting out the door was rife with tension.
In these tense moments, my mind reverts into survival mode—whatever it takes to get through the struggle. Yet, after the moment passes, it is usually quickly forgotten. Perhaps this amnesia is itself a form of survival. Can any of you relate?!
The fact is, “survival” is part of living. We each must do what it takes to survive, including meeting basic needs and doing some things that we don’t necessarily want to or enjoy doing. In life, we all must endure challenges and frustrations. The sooner we can make peace with this reality, the sooner we can move forward to figure out how to thrive in our daily life rather than just survive. In other words, THRIVING = Survival PLUS(+).
This notion of Survival+ is our new baseline at Women in the Mix. One of our guiding visions is to move beyond a society that asks “whether” we can “have it all” to HOW each of us can thrive in work and life. By defining thriving as Survival+, we hope that the conversation will become even more concrete and relatable. This week’s featured Wixii™ profile, Kara Penn, articulates some of the specific decisions that many of us undertake in an effort to move into Survival+ mode. Do you live in survival mode or Survival+ mode? Please share your story with us.
